Human vs Ghost

I LOL at all you guys for thinking I have actually battled any ghost but the only ghost I have been battling all this while is something more eerie and more horrifying than a ghost which is the fear of losing someone you love.

I purposely write out this cause, I knew one day I would get a job and one day I might be seperate away from her even further. You wouldn't notice how hard and sad it is to only get to see her via webcam but anyway, here's a good news to everyone HAHAHA

1st, today is the 1st day of my 1st permanent job and also is the 1st day of me resigning hahah :)

So how about that for a ghostly encounter?

Asking if I ever encountered a ghost besides seeing some darker skin humanoid, I would say no. The only closest encounter was when I was cycling at 5am to play basketball near my friend Ah Kok or more famously known as Einstein Kok alias Ayam for his ability to vigourously move his head in multiple position as thou it was powered by a v8 engine.

Here is how he look like

+ =

Ok, back to the story, while I was cycling along the long misty road ahead near my house, I notice someone or something was drumming. The sound echoes and sends countless tremble to my sexy legs. I know that some matter was behind one of the many palm trees ahead. I decided to test my courage to answer my curiousity. As I get closer to the source of the sound, clouded by a thick fog, I notice several beings were dancing, in white costume, like some walking dead appear in the movie *find out I let you know*.

Closer and closer, inch by inch, part of my conscious feelings tell me to just ignore that and move on because they might be a gathering for the souls and part of my feelings tell me to find out, and ultimately answer my question of "do ghost really exist" question.

So, ignoring any danger lies ahead that I might be consumed or possessed by these souls, and altered my future forever, I proceeded cautiously, silently just like a night stalker myself just to find out that
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I WAS FCUKING SQUEEZED ON MY HARD STEEL BALLS WHEN I SAW A BUNCH OF INDIANS WEARING WHITE TAMBI SUITS PLAYING DRUMS AT 5AM IN THE FCUKING MORNING BEHIND A PALM TREE.



So, the verdict is

Jermyn 0 - Ghost 1

- d a r t h i k e a -

S.M.I.L.E

Do you know one thing that could easily melt any guy's heart, yes you get it right from the title, it is a girl smile, not any chap ayam and chapalang girl I am talking about.

It is the girl of your choice.

I just love it when I saw my girl eating =)

Whenever I see her eat, it gives me an orgasmic feeling, most probably I think is because when I see her eat, I can see her smiling and dancing inside herself which I can't see in any other way.

Seeing someone happily eating is more satisfying than seeing someone scoring straight A's or seeing someone getting promoted but less happy when seeing someone get married.

Every time when I am with her, I saw different type of smiles =) there could be a smile from a joke, a smile after waking up, a smile before sleeping, a smile when she talk to me, a smile when she fake it whenever I say something lame, a smile when she see some DINO walking pass her, a smile when she see my tummy, a fake smile, a smile while posing for the camera shot or a smile after she say something wrong =)

But a smile when she is eating is priceless and worth it =) Every time she eat, that smile is the smile I have been longing for, that smile is the smile I have been dreaming of, and that smile is the smile I always have been proud of.

This post is dedicated to every single guy on this earth that agree with me that watching your love one eat is of the worthiest moment in your life =)


So, bee, did I answer you why I love to see you eat? =)

Below is a compilation of smiles I have been secretly smiling to myself at whenever I look back at all the pictures and sweet memories we have gone through so far =)


My bee whacking almost 20 fried cempedak into her tummy =)


My bee mercilessly enjoying her chicken in GIANT below Sungei Wang =)


My bee sneakily drinking her sharksfin soup without me =(


My bee in action in Tasting Room fine dining place, RM120 from her father's pocket not hers ma, that's why her smile is much more broader than usual hehe =)


Bee with green alien hair in Shogun =)


Bee and her beloved chocolate watermelon in Shogun =)


My bee chewing her childhood rivalry Mr Ramly's burger =)


My bee not concentrating while eating chicky wing =)


Look at her smile when she is drinking her beloved Tong Sui (Sugar water) =)


Gulp, Gulp. Bee in Pastamania with her friends and not me but still dare to show such a happy face =(


Bee drinking 5354 (weird weird) Tong sui again


My bee and her trusted spoon


Bee drinking Hong Tau Sa (Red Bean Sand)


Smiling alone when eating


Smiling together when eating =)


I love you my stinky bee =)

Smile a lot ya.

- d a r t h i k e a -

When Malaysian and seafood collide

Hey fellas =) I am here to talk to you guys about a serious disease that are now a pandemic in Malaysia.

I am here to talk about Lala Chronic Disease (LCD).

What is Lala actually?

What is LCD?

What can LCD do to Malaysian?

How contagious is LCD?


Lala is actually a type of sea shell fish.

Picture paints a thousand words so I am going to show you guys what is Lala.



This is a picture of lala =)

And lala's cousin are called si ham

Si ham is actually cockles in English. FFS why on earth they name it cockles. It sounds like cockLESS

Ok here is Si ham.




A wide and current trend of such seafood consumption among Malaysian are causing a new disease breakthrough.

The toxic compound in such seafood are the culprit in the recent mass mutation especially among Malaysian girl.

The recent visit to K.L, in one of the famous K.L shopping complex called Sungei Wang made me worry.

LCD can be a very devastating and slow acting form of disease that could Lalalize most potential pretty girls. Siham disease however, less contagious and less lethal is more potent towards guys.

(CLICK ON THE PICTURE FOR MORE DETAILS)

(sorry for the girl in the picture to be my model but I really couldn't find any other more suitable picture to edit. Blame it on your striking shoe)

Ok here is an example of a girl suffering from LCD. That picture is edited to show you how serious the disease can be.

1st symptoms will be her starting to wear ugly badges such as smiley face or fugly striking and big hand bangles. At this stage, the girl can still be saved by constant advice and further preventing such girls to get near to Malaysian Gothic shop.

2nd symptoms will be her starting to wear clothes with nonsense slogans such as "Hello", "Have a nice day", "Welcome to my kawaii world" and etc. At this stage, serious medication such as grounding and curfew need to be applied.

3rd stages will be irreversible. At a point where she start purchasing fugly immitation of Disney character such as shown in the picture above. It is not a crime to buy such materials but to show it off and proud of it on purpose is blasphemous. At this stage, the girl has almost completely finish her human life cycle and starting to morph into a naive lala.

At the 4th and final stage, the 1st symptom shown will be the girl starting to wear some nettish high stockings. At this point, the girl are still scared and worried cause it is their 1st time reaching such stage thus purchasing such stockings will be an initiation step towards becoming a pure lala.

After several brave attempts, they start to indulge themselves with semi torn high stockings and still proud of it as shown above. At this point, they are no longer human but yet they still can mate with human. And at this very point, their behavior will change completely for their rest of their life and the birth of a new breed of lala called KAM HEONG LALA.

What is KAM HEONG LALA (KHL).

Ok, I am kind enough to steal a picture from respected source for you guys. Thank you whatever website I am stealing from for the picture. If you demand the picture to be taken away, kindly contact me through PM.


This will be KAM HEONG LALA.

KHL is the ultimate form of LALA. They will be the senior, the experienced and highly valued lala. Their role is to lalalize other girls to be part of their comrad. Although weird, they have a highly big social network and their ability is to talk loudly to be noticed.

They have no weakness as they have overcome the greatest weakness in mankind, THE FEAR OF LOW SELF ESTEEM.


For this I would like to conclude that, whether you are a normal girl, a girl almost got struck with LCD or a lala naive or even KHL, you are still a part of us earthlings, you will still be a very essential components in our society. Without you, we have nothing better to stare when we walk in shopping complexes and we have nothing more to talk about.

Just to let you LALA united girls know, we care and we share.


- d a r t h i k e a -

Lick my nuts

Last week, I just went to K.L yet again to visit my stinky bee.

One occasion shocked me.

And at the same time, it also answers one of my question.

Why Chinese was always treated as a dishwasher by the Westerners.

Last time, I used to be so disgraced and shamed when I saw Chinese traders wiping the ass of European customers and treating them like a jewel.

Now I am finding a hole to dig and hide my head when I saw how Chinese traders now bow and smell the ass of the Arabian customers.

Because of such apple polishing attitude, although you are very successful, you have cause your race to be the jasper for others.

The fcuking broad smile while two hands was rubbing each other disgrace me when they try to lure an Arabian customer. Not only that, they keep bowing and bowing every time the Arabs walk pass them.

If they do not scared people will laugh at them, they should scared dog will bark at them.

I would say, if I am a trader, I either kiss all assess or fcuk them if they don't buy my goods. No double standard practiced *except certain occasion..details will be discussed privately if you ever ask me out for a drink*

Malaysian Chinese nowadays are not only good in bribing, I didn't know they are also good in licking assess. I got a pair of dirty assess waiting to be licked. Anyone?

By the way, talking about bowing, why on earth should we bow to anyone? What does bowing symbolizes?

For example, why do we need to bow when we see our kings? Aren't they human too? I wouldn't mind if we are bowing to them 2000 years before. That is when morons started to think kings are immortal or son of God or some higher beings. But now? In this modern era?

WTF IS BOWING ALL ABOUT.

FFS, STOP ALL THESE RUBBISH TRADITIONS.

INSTEAD OF BOWING TO SOMEONE, GIVE THEM A FCUKING BROAD SMILE AND RUB TWO OF YOUR HANDS TOGETHER LIKE SOME CHINESE ASS LICKING TRADER.

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In another news, me and my bee just spend 1.5 days together. This time she left me alone in the hotel =(

BAD BEE

I arrive again at 4.30am and went straight to order the world biggest KFC cheesy wedges situated opposite Puduraya bus terminal.

That is a huge wedges with multiple cum shot of mayo and cheese.

I put my bag down on one of the tables, went to order my stuffs.

WHEN I COME BACK, ONE GROUP OF FCUKING CHINESE IDIOTS TOOK MY CHAIR AWAY AND LEFT MY BAG ON THE TABLE.

5 Chinese guys and a girl.

I mean 5 mutilated looking guy and one female clown !!!!

NO MANNERS

After eating, went to the Indian uncle selling paper, bought that morning paper and read for 2 hours. Thick newspaper, makes me happy but unfortunately 40% of it is covered by some stupid business news and lousy 2nd hand car selling advertisement.

Common guys, you will never get to sell your car by posting at such places. Do me a favour, sell it door to door.

After that, I went to find some hotel, 1st ended up my last time with Star Town Fcuking Inn where they promised me a room but eventually when I reach there, they told me full house.

Walk along Bintang Street and finally ended up searching in vain for any hotel nearby as they were fully occupied not until I climb up a spooky stairs and reach a nice hotel.

I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU THE NAME OF THE HOTEL CAUSE I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FULLY BOOKED AGAIN MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA SUE ME

Almost everything is nice in that hotel except the curtain. One part of the curtain are unable to cover completely the window. This makes me unable to perform my usual naked sleep =(

Besides that, my bee also baked me 4 muffins =) although quite hard outside, but the inside is still as delicious, just like you bee, outside hard hard inside soft like jelly.

Throughout the day, we ended up strolling in Sungei Wang critisizing people and catching dino.

Ate some of the best bihun in the world in Sungei Wang's GIANT supermarket coupled with a BBQ honey drumstick with my bee. She say it is nice too but sooner or later she will complain boring cause my aim is to eat it everytime I landed in Sungei Wang.

At the end of the day, I was glad to be able to spend the dinner and supper with Woo's family.

Not only I get to enjoy free dinner, but I also get to eat some expensive dishes HAHA such as a big fat black fish coupled with prawns, long beans and friends plus salty egg squid with eggs of all kind =)

After that, me and my bee watched CARS. Some funny looking vehicles that can talk =) hehe hopefully next time they start doing shows with moving underpants and called it UNDIES.

After that, my bee played me a couple of soothing songs using her black piano. I don't even know what is she typing in the piano. Too fast. Too hard to follow.

Before that, my bee opened two cans of king longan in syrup for me. Ate most of it HAHA I am a big fans of Longan I tell you. To me this testicle looking fruit is so sweet I wish my swimming pool is filled with it next time.

Finally end my day with a supper at the nearby Mamak area. Watched some aunties trying to cheat that poor mamak guy for a few cents because they claim they eat NASI LEMAK BIASA when they actually ordered NASI LEMAK with COCKLES.

FCUKING CHINESE TRY TO CHEAT A FEW CENTS.

NOT LIKE ME. CHEATED THE MAMAK RM81.00 WHEN I ONLY PAY THEM RM8.10 HAHAHAHA

Just wanna thank the Woo's family for the pleasant dinner and warmth stay =) never had such a warmth moment for a long long long time =)

THANKs BEE FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN FOR ME. I LOVE FAMILIES


- d a r t h i k e a -